*Disclaimer* This post is depressing. Do not continue if you don’t want to be bummed out.
Do you ever find yourself anticipating some event or experience, and as part of that anticipation, picture yourself sitting down to your computer to post about it on your blog? You know, thinking about what you might write, imagining the photos you might get to choose from?
Well, for about a year now, I have been anticipating one certain event that I was going to be so excited to post about . . . I was going to participate in my first ever triathlon. Last May, my mom and younger sister participated in the Woman of Steel Tri in American Fork, Utah, and when they were done, they invited me and all my sisters/sisters in law to join them for the race this year. I got excited. I started to train. I learned how to swim. I did my best to be ready. . .
. . . and then, something else came up. Many of you know that we have been hoping for years to adopt another baby, and, though we have had several opportunities pop up, they have all fallen through. Well, in about February, our profile was selected by a young couple expecting a baby girl. They were considering adoption as a possibility. We met with them, and felt really positive about the whole thing. Hooray, another exciting event to anticipate posting about. The only drawback was her due date . . . the same week as the triathlon.
Of course, having a new child in our family is more important than running a triathlon, but we prayed that the timing would work out that we could experience both . . . it didn’t.
We found out that the mother was going to be induced the very day I was scheduled to fly to Utah for the race, so I cancelled my flight. The baby was born that day (Thursday) and then we had two excruciating days of waiting to find out if she was going to go through with her plan to place her for adoption. . . she didn’t.
Right as I was going to pick up the phone to call my mom and ask how the race went, we got the call that we hoped would inform us to get in the car and drive to the hospital. Instead, our social worker informed us that the mother had decided to take the baby home with her, and we were left with nothing. No race . . . no baby . . . just a heap of disappointment, and a lot of tears. We will get through, like we always do, but it sure sucks in the meantime.
10 comments:
It absolutely sucks. Please know that I love you, and your family is in my prayers. I wish I could do more.
Thanks for sharing this with us. Life can be so unfair. Our faith and prayers have been and will continue to be with you. You, Tim, and Sarah mean so much to us.
That double sucks! I love that you anticipate blog entries--I totally do too! We'll pray and cross our fingers that you'll get a double awesome soon!
Oh Kim,
I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what a rough week that must have been. Such a bummer - And even worse that you had to jump in a cold pool so many times to train for the swim! (I really dislike swimming, and almost drowned during my first triathlon swim:)
Anyway, I hope something really great happens to you really soon - Erin
Kim I wish people would just follow thru wiyth their plans. I would be so angry at so many things right now if I were in your shoes. It's only natural. I will pray that you'll be able to find the right person who is trully willing to be selfliss and give you a baby. I know one of Rhett's sisters had gotten pregnant had parents lined up and totally decided to keep the baby only later she discovered she couldn't take care of the poor little guy and Rhett's brother adopted him instead 3-months later. I felt so bad for the parents who had their hopes crushed.
If you want to talk to Rhett's mom she may be able to help (if you feel comfortable with that sort of thing). She has adopted 16 children not all babies of course but I think she has connections. I don't know, anything to try and help just let me know if your interested. Hang in there, something will work out and thankfully you have your sweet daughter to love while you wait for the next one to come along.
Of course I couldn't NOT read this, even after your disclaimer. But you're right--now I'm sad. Thanks for doing a blog post anyhow and sharing your feelings honestly. I'm so impressed you were going to do a triathlon too!
I was sharing with my girls a memory of us winning 2nd place in the 7th grade lip sync contest. Those were beautiful days. We've been through a lot over the years. :) Straight up!
I want to give you a hug right now. I am so sorry to hear that you're going through such a painful time. I think about you often and pray for your family. I think in life things are easier when we can say that someday we'll see that this was a blessing in diguise. I think this just plain doesn't make sense and maybe it never will but you're a strong family. One of my favorite families and I hope you're hanging in there and finding many reasons to smile.
I glad I disobeyed the disclaimer...
Thank you for being willing to share your goodness even in the hard moments. (And thank you for helping us the other day!)
Keep on keeping on, and stop by if you start training on Haley Road again.
Oh Kim...this makes me sad. Sad for you and Tim who are such amazing people. Sad that you trained so hard and didn't get to race. Mostly sad that YOU are sad. Hope things are getting better and that you have had some much brighter days. :) Love you.
Oh Kim. I am so sorry to hear the news. I have been out of the blogging world for too long and feel so terrible that both things didn't pan out. Of course the baby is the most upsetting. I can't imagine the roller coaster of emotions you have gone through. And I know there aren't any words to help ease the pain. But know that I love you both and will keep you in my prayers. Sarah is a lucky little girl to have such a brave and STRONG mom.
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